Sunday, February 17, 2013

recommitting. and having faith.

Relief society was so wonderful today! Every week in church I feel like I am always taught something that I need to hear to help me become better or to strengthen my testimony.

this week it was on revelation. I have really been struggling with the topic of revelation because I feel like I never receive revelation in my life. I never really felt guided toward a particular major, or a particular place to live, or even for guidance in serving others. and it is frustrating to me.

Today in Relief Society, we talked about how revelation is most often gradual and it can be difficult to notice in the moment. Often times, it is easy to think that it is just us and that we are not really guided by the Lord. I think this is one of Satan's techniques... to make us think that we are not being guided by the Lord, leaving us feeling alone and confused. However, I learned to day that I need to have faith and trust in the Lord and recognize that if I continue praying and try my best to do what is right, I will be following revelation of the Lord and I will be guided. I also realized that it's okay if I feel I am lacking spiritual guidance. The Lord loves all of us enough and trusts us to make righteous decisions, and I need to learn to trust in my own decision making skills as well. It is definitely hard for me to develop more faith in my ability to receive revelation and to wait for answers and more revelation than I want, but I know that the Lord wants us to develop patience and I need to have faith in Him and myself that I am doing the best I can and that the revelation I seek will come in time.

I also decided today that from now on, I am COMMITTED to eating healthy. I have eaten so much junk in the past couple days and I feel gross. I want to lose about 15 more pounds and I want to feel healthy. Thus, I am cutting out sweets completely (one small treat a week is okay, if it is in my calorie range) and I am exercising 5 days a week. When I go to restaurants, I will watch the calories I eat. most importantly, I am not going to pig out on the weekends!

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