1. moan every two minutes about how much boys suck
2. make every little pain seem like the worst thing ever
3. complain about how you have to do homework while you are doing fun things
4. talk about how your friends just like you for your food, money, etc...
5. mention many times that you are failing your classes, when you are, in fact, at least passing all of them.
6. repeat step 1 every day. several times. even when you have no reason to be doing it. you probably won't have any friends soon because they will be sick of you, but who cares really?

